Archive for October, 2010

Nigel Barker (born 27 April 1972) is an English fashion photographer and former model of English and Sri Lankan descent. He is best known for his participation as a judge and photographer on the reality show America’s Next Top Model. He wrote the book: ” Beauty Equation” and the conference was based in the book’s Philosophy about “Inner Beauty”.

His book  has an interesting and interactive website. You can check it out at:


So what makes a person truly beautiful?

According to Nigel Barker is: Compassion, Confidence, Spontaneity and Humor.

He gave an example retelling the time when he met his wife. How the only thing he could think of, was to show him how the “mosquitoes” had bitten his arm mercilessly. He recognized that even though wasn’t his cleverest pick up line, it invited a caring response from her. She felt the sincerity in his attitude and prompted a caring response from her part.

He also stressed the importance to stay in touch with your inner person through whatever activity that makes you connect with yourself: He invited us to reach inside and: sing, dance, listen to music, etc. “Do the silly activities that make your heart sing”. – that is my little contribution, he didn’t say anything about making your heart sing—but I guess he would agree with it—the message was: “Do whatever it takes, to release our internal energy, which in turn will return the favor by recharging you”.

–I couldn’t agree more by the way!  —

He then talked about how a healthy life style is also a key ingredient for anyone seeking to release his/her “Inner Beauty”. How the goal was to be healthy not “stick thin”. He continued to point out how even though it may not be the right measurement, people judge you for the way you present yourself.

So, the way you dress, the way you talk, if you make eye contact, if you smile, etc, etc.

And his question about the way we conduct ourselves and the way we manage our images was:

“What is the message that you are sending?”

Because, at the end, it is up to you to make the decision: “What image am I projecting to the world?

“Confidence is key”

But, how do you get to bust your confidence?

Nigel is convinced that through compassion you can bust your confidence.

Compassion towards others but also and first: towards “you”.

I guess he meant that we need to accept ourselves, with all our flaws as well as good attributes. This in turn, will help us to get ready to help others.

By showing interest in helping others, we feel useful, we open our eyes and hearts to other peoples realities, and suddenly our problems don’t seem as big as we previously thought. We then, are able to count our blessings. He stressed the importance of understanding that not all can do extraordinary sacrifices in order to help others.

That small deeds are ok, since they trigger a “Butterfly effect”. One heart-felt, unselfish act brings out a similar response from someone else, and then, it becomes a chain reaction. Like the  pebble thrown into a pond creating many ripples that travel much farther than the place where the pebble was thrown.

And last but not least he talked about the role humor takes when trying to build the most beautiful “you” that you can be.

How, “Humor” helps you get through life. It gives you an optimistic take on things.

He talked of how important is not to let negative people let you down. Also, how it is important to remain calm and cool when we meet with aggressive people. We tend to repay an “eye for an eye” but how it is much more edifying to let it go. Aggression only brings your inner peace into turmoil. “Know that you can find new opportunities, a ‘Quest’ where you least expect it.”

Welcome it!

Trouble yourself to accept the task of  caring for other people’s lives.

Trouble yourself to take the challenge to work in your self-image. Invest the discipline and the effort that will take to rule over whatever it is that is keeping you from becoming a healthier, more centered, less selfish, more engaged into what is happening around you.

Care for others. Invest time helping them.

Accept the challenge to improve and empower yourself.

Nobody knows better than you, what needs to be worked on, to allow yourself to become the most beautiful “YOU” that  you can be.

Thank you for reading this summary.



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“Expanding  your Psychological Capacity”


The speaker was:  Shawn Harper

Mr.  Harper is a former professional football player (NFL Rams, Colts) and motivational speaker.

He started by talking a little about his life, and the learning disabilities he had to overcome.

He mentioned how this undermined his self-esteem, and how,even though he had athletic abilities that enabled him to be drafted by a professional football team, he didn’t have the confidence that he saw in other of his teammates. He referred to this as: “I didn’t have the right mind set”.

He talked of how we should  follow some simple steps to increase our  “Psychological Capacity”.

Here they are…


We all carry some emotional baggage with us. Whether is anger, frustration, bitterness, unforgiveness, etc.  All these negative emotions corrode our capacity of growth. It is important to get those feelings out of our system since all this “Negative Capacity” deflects opportunities.

This goes too for negative people on your life. He stressed how important is not to let this people influence or undermine your plans. How one has to identify who are the “crazy makers” in your life and stop their negative influence at once.


The greater teacher is “Life”

Look for daily lessons.

Get involved on internships, (develop a network)

Find a mentor. Somebody you admire, and watch how these people interact.

Look for role models. . Study his/her careers.

Accept when your mentality is wrong. Sometimes we are the ones holding us back with old ideas or fears that keep us from trying new things.


Be bold! Go out and meet people!

He actually said to challenge ourselves to meet one new person every week.

That would mean 52 new people in your network a year.

Connect with groups out of your comfort zone.

And most important: Do this on the “real” world not only on the cybernetic one.


Create your personal mission statement:

Think about…

Who are you?

Where are going?

How are you going to get there?


What you “focus on” is what you are going to attract.

So, take control of whatever is that you are focusing on.

Don’t waste your time, “focus” so your attitude and activities brings you closer to what you want to achieve.


He gave the example of how Notre Dame Football Coach made his players visualize themselves winning the championship.  He asked them to even write the speeches they would give to the sport reporters  as if they had already won.  How these attitude helped them to actually win that year the national championship.


Which was a kind of summary:

Shape your relationships.

Let the negative in your life (attitude) go away.

Don’t dwell in the past.

And he finished saying:

“We were not born winners,

We were not born losers,

We were born choosers.”

Shawn Harper.

Thank you for reading this entry, I hope it is useful.

Beatriz Lopez Anzures.

Multimedia Student

University of North  Florida

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 This is a place where we can communicate to exchange ideas and read about the material covererd on the conferences of our UNF chapter for The Society of Leadership and Success.

Please remember that the content in this Blog does not count as a formal SNT. It is just an informational tool for those who can’t attend  some of the speakers presentations and  still want to know what  was the scoop.

You need to attend to the conferences and also log in to the members area at  http://www.societyleadership.org and watch the SNT they provide in there to have it count for your induction as a  member.

That been said…

We had an interesting subject in our first Electronic Conference  at the UNF   Lazzara Theater.

If you didn’t go read ahead. The Archives link  have a summary of it.

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